i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
