yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
my poor anus
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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