she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
