She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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