There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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