I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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