I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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