whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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