You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
