I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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