Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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