I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
