so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You ate ashes out of my bong
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
