Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
