My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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