if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
