ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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