You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
