Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
