When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
