After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
