what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
