i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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