I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
