what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
