The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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