Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
