smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she peed on how many people?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
