She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
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