i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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