i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He shit in the fireplace
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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