Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
