Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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