Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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