well I can't set my house on fire every night
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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