She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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