8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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