Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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