i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
