she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
