did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
we're making bets on your personal life
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
