i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
