Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
