i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
