he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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