He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
