bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
