hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
