I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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