i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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