Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
