after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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