break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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